Sunday, May 3, 2009

The Extra Mile Ends Here.

I'd like to think I go the extra mile. I'll hold a door open for just about anyone...well not people in wheel chairs, the elderly, or women with strollers because I think it's entertaining to watch them struggle.

Seriously though, I hold doors open (and normally get stuck holding the door for as long as it takes for the entire population of Rhode Island to egress the building)...I say 'bless you' when complete strangers sneeze...I only spit my gum in trash cans because I think about how much it would suck if someone got it stuck on their shoe...just the other day I let a girl use the bathroom before me at a bar (but I had ulterior motives...she was a 10 that made Megan Fox look like a 4)

I'm generally on the look out for good Karma. Love to 'pay it forward'. Always try to treat others like I would want to be treated....blah blah blah.

Recently, I realized that I have a flaw. I know I know - it was a shocking realization for me too.

On my ride to and from work I pass exactly 2 McDonalds and 1 Burger King. They are very busy. The McDonald's in the Andorra shopping center is exceptionally busy. You know the one...across from the massive fitness club.

Well, I've realized I am incapable of letting anyone out of those parking lots. Normally, I always let people merge into traffic in front of me. But for these Fast-Foodies...I just can't do it. I get so angry that they are dining at these deathstaurants and throwing caution to the wind with their health...that I don't think they deserve to be let out. They should have to sit that extra 5 minutes as everyone passes by and stairs at them, pointing, laughing, shaking their heads in disapproval. My extra mile ends right before the exit lane of the drive-thru.

Don't get me wrong...this isn't a size thing...I'm not hating on the BBW's or BBM's. It's a health thang. I wouldn't let myself out...and I wouldn't want you to let me out either...if/when I was careless enough to put that crap in my mouth.

I'm not the picture of health (well maybe I am, but its a facade) and I certainly like to indulge in a french fry here or there. At least once a year, I admit, I dine at the afore mentioned deathstaurants...but that's why the 'late night' window was created, people...so that you can sneak in and out of these Scarlet Letter Diners veiled in the black of night.

There's a few new social mores that I think people need to add to the list: 

1. Smoking. Its not cool. Catch your butts in private.
2. Texting while driving. Too dangerous. (btw I sent/received 3,481 texts in April, about 116 a day.)
3. Letting the water run while you brush your teeth. Sooo not green.
4. Being caught at an Adult Bookstore when you're a dad. Kinda creepy...sorry, but it is.
5. Eating at a fast food restaurant. Late Night, do it Late Night.

Don't Be This Guy! And if you are...don't expect me to let you out into traffic.


 
P.s. After watching the movie 'Super Size Me'...I immediately left the house...and went to the closest McDonald's drive-thru. That's a true story.

5 comments:

  1. Question: By forcing people to stay at fast food establishments longer than they wish, then aren't you complicit in their bad habits?

    Just kidding! We have to crash a wed spag together soon, ok?

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  2. I ate McDs every single day that I read Fast Food Nation.
    I ate it twice in one day after seeing supersize me.

    It was advertising for girls like us.

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  3. Yes, Amy. That is my point. It's like the good old days when your parents catch you smoking...so your punishment is to smoke the entire pack...until you are green in the face and never want to smoke again.

    I intend to make these people stay in the deathstaurant vicinty for so long that it becomes a horrible experience and they never want to go there again.

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  4. I hate that parking lot. And I'm pretty sure I craved McDonald's the entire time I watched Supersize me. And I did dine at McDonald's twice in the past month which was extremely rare....but I'd like to think I counteract the visits with otherwise healthy behavior??!!! Those fries are a drug for me.

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  5. Caitlyn just saw the pic on this post and said "Oooo, that's a big one" I am not sure if she was talking about the burger or the guy. With a 3yo it could be both. they tend to be direct and raw.

    ReplyDelete